A mum's life

Baby Marcus Learning to Walk

2011-09-02T02:53:00.000-07:00

I found this foortage when looking through our photos on the computer. I forgot how little and cute he was!

Boys and their toys!

2011-09-02T02:00:00.000-07:00

The lovely things he says

2011-03-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

My mum looks after Marcus every Tuesday. She sent me this email after spending the day with him:

Conversation with Marcus at McDonald's today:

Marcus – “I love you Nonna”

Me – “I love you too Marcus”

Marcus – “will you be my best friend Nonna?”

Me – “yes Marcus I would love to be your best friend”

Marcus “I’m happy now Nonna”

Me – “I’m happy too Marcus”

What can I say!!! love him to bits...... and to make it more special he was sitting in the same chair that my father sat in 2 weeks ago when he had his last meal at MacDonald's. 5 minutes later Marcus asked me where Nonno Giovanni was. I said he was in heaven. "Did he catch the plane Nonna?"

love
Christina

My Nonno

2011-03-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

My Nonno passed away on the 17th March 2011. He played a big role in my life and spent a lot of time with me as a child. I will miss him alot and regret that my children will not grow up with him in their life. Myself, mum, my sisters and my two cousins spoke about my grandfather at his funeral. Here is what we said.

On the 23rd of June 1928 in Bari Italy, husband and wife, Paolo Altamura and Maria Stella Grieco, welcomed Giovanni Altamura into the world. He was the seventh child of thirteen, with 9 brothers and 3 sisters. They lived in a small two bedroom apartment and it was not unusual for my father to share a double bed with 5 of his brothers. Dad was an active and playful child and was often mischievous.

When he was around 16 years old, work was hard to find, so he began working for the council in Bari as a rubbish collector and street cleaner. After this, he started working for a fruit stall in the market and eventually, at around 23 years old, he joined his family’s fruit stall, working with his brothers Tomasso, Salvatore and Benito.

Our father volunteered for the Army and soon set off to Africa, staying there for approximately 10 months. He wasn’t back in Italy for very long, when once again, he got itchy feet and decided to respond to the immigration call and moved to Australia on his own.

He travelled by ship and arrived in Melbourne on 1^st April 1952. He stayed in an immigration centre for the first month . He then travelled to Moree, Invarell and Bellata to work on the newly constructed railway. Our father would often talk about his year in Bellata and the bad conditions in which he lived and worked. He earned 8 pounds a week and paid 10 shillings for rent. There were no kitchens and so they had to cook on open outdoor fires. If it rained or snowed they would eat canned food. Can you imagine a Barese eating food out of a can?

One day he saw an ad in the Italian La Fiamma advertising for laborers to work at Mount Beauty. My father and 3 others went to work there for 5 months to build the tunnel. In May 1953 he saw another ad in La Fiama for workers to work for a nickel mining company in New Caledonia. He responded to the ad and went to work there for 10 months. Conditions were good there but they were underpaid so my father was involved in organizing the first ever strike in New Caledonia.

It was whilst working in New Caledonia that Nonno met his wife Simone. She was waiting outside the picture show with her friends and saw this handsome man walk past. She was eating a mandarin and threw a peel at him. He turned around and it was love at first sight. Although he only spoke Italian and she spoke only French their love transcended all obstacles. Nonno proposed to Nonna before he returned to Australia and she followed a couple of months later and they married. They had a small wedding ceremony as they had no family in Australia.

Nonno and Nonna initially bought a house in Rozelle where their first child Christina was born. Then one day in 1961 Nonno came home telling Nonna he had bought a house in Seven Hills. She had no idea where that was but packed up the house and moved there anyway. In 1962 whilst living in Seven Hills they had their second child Paul.

Nonno had several different jobs over the years but it was when he was working as a laborer for Transfield metal construction company that he was involved in a crane accident and suffered quite a bad back injury. Unfortunately the next few years of his life were filled with back operations and not working which began to take a toll on him and his family. However, he was a resilient and determined man and managed to overcome this. He then started working as a carpet salesman - a job he enjoyed and succeeded at.

In 1978 Nonno and Nonna decided to move back to the inner west, in Five Dock, to be closer to his daughter after she married. They remained in the same house until his passing.

Nonno, you were a man of compassion - always there for your family and friends. You went out of your way to help those in need, welcoming other fellow-Italian immigrants into your life and into your home, being available to provide guidance and support. You were the type of person who would put other people’s needs before yours. A prime example was when you started to become unwell; your main concern was the love of your life – your wife, our Nonna. She was your priority and you always put her first.

Nonno, you were a family man – your family meant the world to you. You were always there for us and we could always rely on you. In all of us you instilled a strong work ethic, a sense of responsibility and a firm sense of what was right and wrong and for that we are grateful. When we were children you took us everywhere; the movies, the Easter show, holidays in the caravan, our sports games and events, just to name a few. You provided well for your family –thank you for being such a giving person and looking after us. You always made sure your fridge (and ours) were full – we know that your son Paul will especially miss popping in and enjoying a feast of prosciutto with you. We will miss the days of enjoying your delicious home-made pensarotti and focaccia and sitting around your big family table eating meal, after meal, after meal. We will always remember you with your cold coffee you would keep in a glass bottle in the fridge.

Nonno, you were a protector – a protector of all those you loved. No matter what the situation was, you would always stick up for your family and friends. Christina, your daughter, will never forget that only a few weeks ago, when a man smashed in to her parked car at Haberfield and started abusing her, you came out of Dolcisimo ready for a confrontation. No one was going to abuse your daughter and get away with it, even if you were 82 years of age. You were ready for a fight!

Nonno, you were an Italian man who embraced the Australian way of life: taking the family to eat Pappa Giovanni pizza on Bondi Beach; eating meat pies, Kentucky Fried Chicken , craft cheese, Cadbury chocolate, and stopping off at McDonald’s at any opportunity for a thick shake. You were one of the very few Italians who travelled to china town on a weekly basis to get your Chinese soup. You enjoyed travelling the coast and even had a caravan in the 1960’s before other Italians even knew what they were.

Nonno, you were a man who liked to follow rules – your own rules, especially when it came to road rules. We believe you invented road rage Nonno. However, you had a strong sense of right and wrong and didn’t tolerate any nonsense and excuse for doing the wrong thing.

Nonno, you were a man with a great sense of humour and enjoyed a good laugh with your family and friends. You were not afraid to dress up in your granddaughter’s floral headband or join your grandson and grandson-in-laws in trying to hold yourself up on a pole horizontally on a busy train!!

Nonno, you were a man who had a passion for life. You absolutely loved life. You had an abundance of energy and you could never stay still. Nonna would often comment on how she would have to walk from one end of town to the other (in her high heels mind you!!) You were always on the go and it was common for your family to drop past and find that no one was home. We soon learnt that one of us would have to run out and ring the doorbell to check that you were both home before the rest of the family got out of the car. Part of your ‘on the go’ lifestyle involved enjoying a night out on the dance floor with Nonna, dancing the night away and enjoying evenings at Canada Bay Club, feasting on a Chinese meal.

Nonno, you were also a man of adventure – travelling the world together with Nonna. You visited the US, China, Bali, Italy, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Singapore and you travelled to New Caledonia every couple of years to spend time with Nonna’s family. You were also almost a permanent resident at High Surf at Surfer’s Paradise, where you would go to rest after a holiday. Nonno, I will especially remember the trip to Bari together in 2005. You were in your element – you knew every second or third person and you had the biggest smile on your face the whole time. You showed Anthony and I many things about your life in Bari, and I will especially remember the shop where your mum bought you your first suit for your 21^st birthday. The memories of the Bari trip will be with me forever. By the way Nonno, you will be proud to know that Paul has finally bought his first suit at the age of 47 years old!!

Another Bari memory that will never be forgotten is when mum and Paul came to Bari in 2008 when you had a heart attack and when they got to the hospital you were outside smoking with the doctors, even though you were given strict instructions from the Italian doctors not to smoke. It did not matter how much we all bugged you about quitting, you were determined not to leave this world as a result of smoking – even if you had been smoking since about the age of 15.

You were the best husband, dad and Nonno anyone could ask for. We will love and respect you forever. We will always remember your life-long motto and number one rule: DON’T TRUST NO BODY.

Rest in Peace. You will never be forgotten.

Where is he?

2011-02-28T03:00:00.000-08:00

I couldn't find Marcus yesterday so I went looking and this is what I found....

Homework

2011-02-28T02:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't had to think about homework for a while and now the pressure is back. Here is a photo of Sebastian doing his first homework with Dad. He is working on 'a' words, having to join the word to the picture then colour in the picture.

What I'm greatful for this afternoon...

2011-02-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

A great husband and a belly full of risotto!

Political Ignorance

2011-02-15T20:50:00.000-08:00

I have to write about the frustration I feel when close minded politicians and general members of Australian society demonise refugees. It makes me sick to the stomach the way some politicians use refugees to score election points without a second thought about the way these punitive policies impact on these vulnerable people.

They just don't seem to realise that refugee's take great risk to escape the trauma they experience in their home countries. Nobody takes the risks that they do unless they feel they have no other choice. Especially those mothers who bring their children.

I fell so sad to live in a country where so many people lack compassion for those who are different from us. I wonder if we were receiving refugees from Britain or America whether we as a country would be more compassionate?

It's been a while

2011-02-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

Wow it has been ages since I have written. I think I stopped writing because things were tough for me and I really didn't have the energy to write about it. But I feel the urge to write again so here I am. So much has happened since I last wrote and we as a family have grown together and have adjusted to life as a family of 4.

So what have been the highlights........

I'm back at work employed as Self Advocacy support Officer at Self Advocacy Sydney. I provide training and individual support to adults with an intellectual disability so they can develop self advocacy skills. It's a challenging role but I like it.

My baby sister got married. What an amazing wedding it was. The boys and I were i the bridal party.

And the boys......

Marcus is the biggest chatter box and I love it. He just turned 3 years old and his favourite saying is
" can I ask you a question?"and " but why" . Every morning when his dad wakes up he asks him how his sleep was and when he returns from work he asks him how his day was!

Marcus is confident, strong, emotional, articulate, funny, polite, hotheaded and loving. Everyone comments on what a character he is and I'm super proud of him.

Sebastian is now 5 and started school last week. He is charming, loving, stubburn, funny, kind and polite. He is talking much more and has key phrases he loves to say. "show me your muscles", "I want ...." " Press play" , "Come on Mum" ," good day", " well done", " go away" amongst others!

Sebastian had an emotional first week however this week he tells me that he likes school and that he had a good day. Apparently he loved the swimming lessons and reading with his teacher Miss Van Kolkin. The driver now picks him up and takes him to school and he doesn't mind not going to school with mum. I'm so happy that he is adjusting and I really feel that St Lucy's is a great school for Sebastian.

Sebastian in his school uniform

Go Away!

2009-10-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

Today the kids and I had lunch at my inlaws house. Sebastian was in a bad mood and kept grunting at anyone who disturbed him while he was eating. In an attempt to get Sebasatian to verbalise his discontent we were encouraging him to say"go away". Sebastian mimicked the words with litle enthusiasm however Marcus on the other hand expressed this phrase with great enthusiam. He was so cute that we couldn't help but giggle and of course this lead to him repeating the words over and over again, causing us to laugh even harder. I knew that I would suffer the consequences of our collective actions and it was only 1 hour later when we were at the video shop and he walked away from me chanting "go away, go away, go away" Oh the joys!!

Sleep deprived

2009-09-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

I got very little sleep last night because Marcus wouldn't sleep. So much for sleeping through! It's so hard for me to be patient when I'm sleep deprived.I tried to keep my cool but I was unsuccessful. Lets hope we get a good nights sleep tonight.

What I'm thankful for...

2009-09-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life can get so busy and stressful that it's easy to get bogged down by all the things that are going wrong. At the present time, with Sebastian being sick again it's easy to feel down in the dumps.
What keeps me going? The idea that things will get better. We will get Sebastian's seizures under control for good. Sebastian and Marcus will grow up and not be so dependent on me every second of the day. Sebastian will learn to entertain himself and Marcus will not be a mini cyclone forever. It will get better!!!

I also tell myself that things can be worse. I'm reminded of this when we go to the children's hospital and I see other children struggling to overcome so much more.

We have two very different but dynamic and lovable children. We have family who do their best to support us through our hardships. When I think about it we have a lot to be thankful for. There is one more reason to smile.... Marcus is sleeping through the night after 18 months. Now that's something to be thankful for!!!!

A strange day

2009-09-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

The day began with Sebastian, Marcus and I going to Early Intervention playgroup at Lifestart. It's normally a really busy and noisy play group as there are lots of kids with varying dissabilities and alot of new commers who appear to have autism. Today, Marcus my child without the disabiliy was the worst behaved of them all. He seems to be getting his moulers and was he cranky today. He threw a full tantrum today during circle time and had to be removed from the group. What a spirited little boy! The strange thing is that he was an angel yesterday.

After group I took the boys shopping. It was strange because today for the first time I witnessed so many people staring at Sebastian as if there was something wrong with him. I really have never observed such negative stares from strangers before. I'm a pretty positive person and always give people the benefit of the doubt. Even when people make offensive or politically incorrect comments to me about Sebastian I let it go , knowing that they mean well whilst aiming to educate them in a positive way. But today I just wanted to tell people to fuck off. I think this is the first time I have felt this way in the past 4 years.

Despite the negative behaviours of some today. The girl that works in General Pants danced with Sebastian for 15 minutes while I shopped around. He had her spinning and dropping to the ground and holding hands with him. What can I say he has a way with women 18-25 years old!

abc...

2009-09-11T03:10:00.000-07:00

Sebastian knows the alphabet..yeah!!! I'm so excited because I thought it would take me forever to teach it to him but what do you know, he learnt it from a brainy baby DVD. Who said TV was bad for children?

Marcus can say abc but thats as far as it goes. He was so cute today trying to count his fingers but he was getting frustrated because he can only say the number 2 and he was shitty that he wasn't getting very far. He was happy when I stepped in to help.

He also got his very first Thomas train set today and he was such a happy boy. Choo Choo!

Today was a good day!

2009-09-07T03:26:00.000-07:00

A Sad Day

2009-09-07T03:04:00.000-07:00

Today I spent most of the day at the Children's Hospital. This morning Sebastian wasn't himself and was having several episodes of eye rolling. I decided to take him straight to emergency to get to the bottom of what was going on. After a long wait the registrar witnessed some of his seizures and decided to increase his medication to the full amount over 3 weeks. This is so upsetting because we have been weening him off this medication for 6 months and we were almost done. Now we are back to square one. The scariest thing is that this medication may not work and if that's the case we will have to go through all the trials of medication with bad side effects that don't do anything to stop the seizures. This has been a bad year for us but as I said to Diego, it can only get better!

On a positive note Sebastian mimicked every letter in the alphabet (except the letter T) after the brainy baby DVD. How exciting that he is learning the alphabet. I thought it would never happen!

2009-09-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today started off as a glorious morning. Sebastian walked into our room this morning saying "mum"
I responded with "hello are you hungry"
He says "yes"in a perfect high pitched voice.
Then he says" Hi, How are you?"
This was like music to my ears. Every morning I ask him how he is and this morning he beat me to it speaking the words without any prompting and as clear as day for the first time.

Unfortunately the day is only half way through and I have received some bad news. Sebastian has a history of seizureis but hasn't had a full blown seizure since he was nine months old. We have had some concerns about his eyes rolling back and I just found out his EEG showed some abnormal activity on the right side of his brain. The frustrating part is his neurologist is on holidays and I don't know what to do. The registra at the hospital wasn't much help so now I'm extremely anxious and feel sick in the stomach. I told you our lives were like a roller coaster!!

My first Blog

2009-09-02T03:16:00.000-07:00

Hello, My name is Sabrina and I'm a mother of 2 boys. Sebastian is 4 years old and Marcus is 18 months. Life is pretty chaotic when your a mother of two, but when you throw Down Syndrome in the mix it's like riding a massive roller coaster. My life is full of these really amazing moments yet there are some days when I feel so overwhelmed by the challenges that I face.

I have decided to delve into the unfamiliar world of blogging for 2 reasons. Firstly as a way of documenting my life with my family and secondly to connect with other parents who are going through similar experiences as me. It can be a very lonely life as a stay at home mum, particularly when your child has additional needs. I myself have found it useful reading other people blogs so I thought that i would give it a go.